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FREE CHAT ROOMS ARTICLES - CHAT DATING
Tips for Creating a Successful Personal
Online Dating Profile
by Caroline Mackenzie
Your profile is the key to meeting your perfect match
at online dating and personals services so it’s surprising
that many profiles are mediocre at best. With a little
extra time, thought and effort, and the help of these
tips, you can make yours a winner and attract a large
pool of admirers to take your pick from.
Invent a distinctive username:
Your username (nickname) is the first hint at what kind
of person you are. It needs to be original and memorable,
while somehow summing you up - not easy in a dozen letters
or so!
For ideas, think about your interests, background, location
and personality. For instance, an outgoing person from
Phoenix might choose PhoenixSparkler, an avid skier with
a wild streak might be SnowTiger. Humor’s great (I
recently spotted MissBehaving) but overly sentimental
(LetMeBeTheOne), meaningless (Vyc2DX) or desperate sounding
(SoLonelyInOhio) names are a turn off.
Give yourself time: think of a name before sitting down
to complete your profile, as well as a couple of backup
options. It’s amazing how many “original”
names are in use already. Most services spit out alternatives
but they’re usually unimaginative and full of numbers.
Write a compelling headline:
Your opening line, or headline, is like the first thing
you see on an ad: it should compel people to read on and
find out more about you. Don’t be apologetic about
being there - “I don’t normally do this sort
of thing” - and don’t begin (as thousands do)
with “My name’s Bob, I’m 25 and live in
Boise.” This isn’t compelling. It’s not
even interesting. “Born in Boise, Heading for Barbados”
is more the thing. It’s intriguing without being
confusing, and raises questions: is Bob a traveler, a
dreamer or working for an international company? Only
one way to find out – read on!
Again, it’s not easy. If you get stuck, a favorite
line from a song, book or movie can say lot about you
– who you like and/or what you believe in - and stands
out to other people who love it too.
Post at least one photo:
For 75% of online daters, the photo is the first thing
they look for when browsing through profiles. Not surprisingly,
profiles with photos get ten to fifteen times the response
of those without. Including a photo is a must! But beware,
some photos do more harm than good. Big offenders are
photos that show you with someone else, or even worse,
part of someone else. (It might not be your ex, or your
ex’s body part, but people have no way of knowing.)
If you don’t have a suitable photo, get one taken,
and keep it real - glamour shots could come back to haunt
you. Think about asking a friend to pick out a photo that
they think looks most like you. Make sure people don’t
have to squint at the screen to see what you look like,
and be sure to smile!
Check the right boxes:
Most profiles have a hefty component of check boxes –
age group, sex, and so on. It’s a basic thing but
when researching sites I do it a lot myself: check the
wrong boxes or forget to change them from a default setting
that isn’t right for me. And I’m not alone.
Believe it or not, a common mistake among online daters
is choosing the wrong sex of their ideal partner. So,
take care over these basic but important details.
Check your grammar and spelling:
You might be the most intelligent person on the planet
but if you rush your profile and don’t check your
spelling and grammar you’re not going to come across
well to anyone who values intelligence. You might like
to prepare your freestyle entries using a program with
spelling and grammar checkers, then paste them into your
profile.
Avoid clichés:
Unfortunately, a lot of people say the same thing in the
same way as everyone else. It’s boring at best and
unbelievable at worst. Can we really believe that so many
people “exercise regularly and keep in good shape”?
Also, use a thesaurus to replace well-worn words like
“good” and “nice” with more interesting,
meaningful alternatives that add spice and sparkle to
your profile.
Make your meaning clear:
Your spelling and grammar might be perfect but sometimes
your words can convey a completely different meaning from
what you intended. Give your profile a thorough reading
to avoid potentially embarrassing or damaging misinterpretations!
Stick to your own style:
Many online dating profiles include sections where you
can express yourself in your own words. It’s a chance
to make yourself more human and “real,” and
other members can pick up lots of interesting information
about you – clues they might find appealing - from
the way you express yourself. Don’t block the process
by suddenly adopting a style and tone that isn’t
really you.
Focus on your unique qualities:
It’s our unique qualities that make us attractive
- and to some, very attractive! When you have a chance
to describe yourself, let these qualities shine. Skip
the things that people take for granted (and have in common)
and focus on the things that make you, “you.”
Perhaps you speak another language, have an unusual skill
or interest, or something you feel passionately about.
Small things count too. If you change your hair color
every other day or have an addiction to triple hot chili
sauce, say so. People who share or appreciate your unique
qualities will tune right in and they make great conversation
starters if they decide to make a move!
Flatter yourself – it’s allowed!:
If you’re good at something or proud of yourself
for something, go ahead and blow your own trumpet. Confidence
(not to be confused with a raging ego!) is an attractive
quality and there are plenty of ways to flatter yourself
while sounding modest: “My friends say I’m…”
or, “If I had to describe one thing about myself
that I like…”
Be honest:
Many people can’t resist the urge to be less than
completely honest when writing their online personals
profile. Women tend to lie about their appearance and
men about their status and physical prowess. There’s
really no need. Online dating and personals services have
thousands if not millions of members. You’ve got
a great chance of meeting someone who’s attracted
to the real you, warts and all. Of course, there’s
no need to tell your darkest secrets – just keep
it real. You’ll be able to pursue relationships without
having to worry about all the lies you’ve spun. Honesty
is an attractive trait.
Be passionate about your passions:
If you have a hobby or interest that you’re absolutely
passionate about, that takes up a lot of your time and
energy, go ahead and rave about it. It’s better that
people know up front how important it is to you, and fellow
fanatics will tune right in!
Be careful with humor:
Humor’s great but a super-dry or tongue-in-cheek
sense of humor may not work well in writing. People don’t
know you and can’t see the twinkle in your eye. You’ll
have ample opportunity to display your brand of wit when
you’re communicating one-on-one with other members.
Say it with feeling:
Too many profiles read like a job application with flat
phrases like, “I enjoy skiing, cooking and photography”
which don’t really tell us much. Add emotions, thoughts
and feelings into the mix. The idea is to showcase your
personality and make a connection on an emotional level.
Be positive:
Our bugbears say something about the type of person we
are but keep them to a minimum in your profile or they’ll
say something bad! Focus on the things that make you feel
good and you'll come across as a fun date.
Don’t dwell on past relationships:
Too much talk of past relationships is a sure way to scare
off potential dates. It doesn’t show much commitment
to moving along in life with someone new. However, some
services touch on the subject in their profiles in which
case you can give it a more interesting, positive twist
by talking in general terms about lessons learned, where
you are today and what your hopes are for future relationships.
Describe your ideal match in your own words:
If you have an opportunity to describe the type of person
you’re looking to meet in your own words, use it.
If someone reads your profile and likes you, they’ll
know right away whether or not they’re a likely candidate
for your affections. On the other hand, don’t be
too picky or demanding! One idea is to limit yourself
to the three or four attributes that you value most in
a partner and perhaps one big turn off (you want to keep
it positive overall).
Describe the kind of dates you enjoy:
Make it easy for people to ask you on a date by giving
them an idea of the kind of dates you enjoy. For instance,
“I like a relaxing atmosphere where you can chat
and get to know someone,” or, “Doing something
new and exciting together is a great way to get to know
someone.”
Promote yourself as a great date:
When someone likes what they read in your profile, they’ll
probably wonder what kind of date you’d make. In
other words, you seem interesting and attractive but would
you be the date from hell? Put this question to rest with
upfront information that paints a great picture of what
it would be like to date you. For instance, perhaps you’re
a good listener who likes a quiet, relaxing atmosphere
where you can talk and get to know someone, or a sociable
energetic type who thinks that doing something new and
exciting together is the best way to get to know someone.
When your admirers know you’re on the same page in
terms of dating style, they’re more likely to take
the next step and ask you out, or at least to get to know
you better, confident you’ll be a great date. And
if your dating styles are completely out of tune, at least
you’ve avoided finding it out the hard way - on that
date from hell.
Create a Master Profile:
Save all your profile information and entries in a master
file so you don’t have to start from scratch if you’re
planning on using more than one service. Profiles vary
considerably from service to service but many parts will
be similar.
Make Changes:
Last but not least, don’t forget that your profile
isn’t written in stone! It’s fast and easy to
make any changes you like, so don’t fret too much
about perfection!
Copyright 2004 Caroline Mackenzie
About The Author
Caroline Mackenzie is Co-Owner/Webmaster of The Dating
Muse, the complete guide to online dating services and
personals featuring in-depth reviews of the top online
dating sites plus tips and ideas for finding friends,
dates, soulmates and sexual adventure online. Visit her
site at http://DatingMuse.com and for lighthearted, sometimes
serious insights into the dating game, online and off,
subscribe to her newsletter, at http://datingmuse.com/subscribe.htm
caroline@datingmuse.com |
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